I'm staring at my husband as he plays Batman: Arkham City, drinking a glass of wine, wearing last year's Christmas PJ sweatpants, and enjoying my fantastic new red hair...and I realized...I couldn't be happier right now.
Jeff had to work today, but I had the day off. Since I felt so awful Saturday I moved my hair appointment to this morning. At 10:30am I left the Aveda Institute with freshly colored, cut, and styled hair...and having purchased my mommy's Christmas present! I stuck around the West Des Moines area shopping...since I still had to get Daddy something. I found the perfect gift for him...and a few small things for Mommy and Caitlyn as well! I had an awesome lunch at Panera (thanks to a gift certificate from one of my students!):
Panera's garden vegetable soup with pesto in a bread bowl? Delicious!
Jeff got out of work early and we headed to P.F. Chang's...which while not only tasty...is a special place to us. It's where we first ate when he met my Daddy and my sister...we ate there in PA...and again when we met Mommy and Daddy in Indianapolis...so it's kind of like "our" restaurant if it were a huge chain. Anyway...I wanted to look pretty for date night, not like I'd been running around all day getting angry with shoppers glued to their cell phones or drivers glued to their cell phones cutting me off...so this morning when we left I packed an extra sweater and some jewelry and makeup to switch my outfit around and surprise Jeff. When I left Aveda Institute and was running around the mall I looked like this:
I swear I was not as angry as that photo may look. Anyway. When I got to dinner with Jeff I looked like this:
Anyway. I had an amazing day. Was it always happy? No...there were times where I thought I may break down in tears since I was shopping without my sister (at Panera I had a near meltdown). I found so many things/people/places I wanted to point out to my Mommy and so many jokes I wanted to crack with my Daddy...but I got through it.
It's Christmas Eve...Eve...and it still doesn't feel anything like what the holidays usually do...but that's not a bad thing. I've realized this year that while Christmas may be just another day...it's okay. And it's not a bad practice to get into the habit of celebrating everyday...no matter how ordinary. This Christmas couldn't get more ordinary for Jeff and I. We have a list of movies we want to watch including: Shaun of the Dead, Get Him to the Greek, Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Role Models, Empire Records, Paul, Office Space, and I Love You Man among a gazillion others (we'll try this all in 3 days!) and that's about all we plan on doing. We have some family stuff...and traditions from my house including the PJ and stair picture...but nothing massive. And that's okay. In fact after all the crazy changes we've had in the past few months a few days of slowing down and zoning out is as close to perfect as our holiday can get.
I don't know that I found the Christmas spirit...but I remembered what the season is all about. Knowing you are loved, blessed, infinitely cared for, and taking the time to KNOW that. Tonight watching my husband play Batman and drink his warm holiday drink (apple cider, rum, cinnamon....delicious by the way!!!) I feel all of these things. I KNOW I am loved (and by many not just the husband), I know I am cared for, and I couldn't possibly be more blessed. I thank God that I have found Jeff and his amazing family. I thank God that my family has been so supportive and understanding of my decisions to have a completely new life nobody could have dreamed up (ME in IOWA...really?!?!). I thank God that I have a (step)son who will have a thousand presents to open next weekend.
But mainly I'm thankful that today I've found the quiet I've been searching for...in the very middle of the holiday activity. I finally feel the peace that is supposed to surround this season...and I feel it from my heart.
I pray you've found it. And if you don't...it's okay. You have tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. After all...this season isn't only one day...it's taking the time to remember that peace and love and harmony exist...it's up to us to realize that and to make these words and ideas our reality.
Now to watch some Batman as played by Jeff....
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